Finally

Apr. 29th, 2015 08:13 pm
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Dreamwidth has been giving me the run around trying to get my password reset. I have so much I want to talk about with you guys, but I still don't have a lot of stamina on the computer. I have been pushing the envelope lately between working on Bubblews (which I picked up yesterday again) and bringing myself up to speed on RPGs.

But mostly, I've been spending time with two of my best friends. Adrian and Lissa have been enjoying my newest mission to re-affirm our friendship. We've spent the last two days getting me back into the swing of RPing, and talking about how I had been RPing long before Valerie came along. And in my mind, I realized how right they were.

Lissa and I have always been very close. Its Adrian that I wanted to bond with, and now, I really have. Now let me explain for those who know about this crush I have admitted to on Adrian. Adrian has been someone I have been curious about from the first time Lissa and I started talking. He was the creator of the Nic Wheeler fan page on Facebook. That's the guy everyone wanted for Adrian Ivashkov in the Vampire Academy movie that came out a while ago. I was in love with Nic Wheeler, definitely. I had a lot of appreciation for someone who appreciated the fans of his work, even if it was simply the book trailers for the Vampire Academy series. It took me a while to get up the nerve to even message Adrian after I'd added him on Facebook.

For some reason even being friends with him at first seemed a bit out there considering I knew that he was Lissa's best friend. It was like being invited into an exclusive club to me. But once I was in...well, let the adventures begin!

I think I developed this crush slowly, then all at once. For a while, I denied it. Nope, couldn't crush on him! He had Em. And Em was also a good friend of mine by the time the crush developed itself. But seriously. At some point, I told him about it, and he was okay with this. As it turns out, I'm not the first, and I probably won't be the last. He's got lots of platonic wives and girlfriends. Em apparently gets amused by all this. So it's all good.

But more than that, Adrian has definitely become someone I feel comfortable enough to go to on almost any topic. And I'm just kinda glad that I eventually *did* get up the balls to IM him finally, and get to know him. He's a big part of who I am now, and I can't imagine my life without him in it. And here's to hoping I'll never have to.

Trivia: The first vampire series I ever read straight through was the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
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So tonight I made it my mission to wrap up the fourth fanfic from NaNoWriMo. And I did it. There were some great scenes in the epilogue, and honestly, I liked them a lot more than the rest of the story! LOL

I had a hard time writing the final scene of the story though because I'm not sure what I'm doing after this. I know I am going to write the wedding story eventually because everyone that has followed me with the four fanfic I wrote for November are now shipping Christien and Victoria, and so are asking for that story. I just don't think the whole story can be the wedding, so now I'm going to let that story brew and maybe do some reading.

I cant' bring myself to read The Bane Chronicles now. In fact, after last night, I am completely turned off by the Mortal Instruments right now. I am sure that will fade with time after I've come to my senses. I am going to miss the RP more than anything else, I think. :( But I'll be alright, eventually. I may even be able to play Simon soon.

Adrian gave me an idea for a fanfic. A Mortal Instruments Fanfic. I am going to kill him later. LOL. Or maybe I'll write it and allow it to heal me. It's about Simon as a Shadowhunter. And yes, probably might have some elements from the Tara verse... cause I am now going to have to re-configure that whole thing so that no part of what me and Val did is involved. :( But this could be fun for me. SOME of it may bleed through because I like the original concept I had before we started RPing it....ugh. Why does that have to hurt so much? I knew that that was going to be hardest part of letting her go.

Simon: Hey, we were here way before she was....

Me: I know...

Alec: Hey, I refuse to let you let her ruin this for you.

Me: I know you do. You've all been golden. Just like my friends in the physical plane, and I couldn't be luckier to have all of you. <3 Just...give me time, please?

Alec: don't worry, I will. Just...come back to us when you're ready?

Simon: She will. She has stories she wants to tell.::broad grin::Hey, can our band be really popular in your fanfic?

-dies- Yes, Simon. I will make sure you guys are mega famous, okay? I gotta do something in JOrdan's honor.

Trivia: My TRUE official anime was probably Sailor Moon or one of the Nick Jr. Shows that used to air in the early 90s. (The Noozles or The Little Koala.)
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Okay, so Fall is definitely here, and my system is not happy. It started yesterday while I was at Barnes and Noble. By the time Mom picked me up at the store, I had no voice. When I went to bed, I was stuffy and my head throbbed. It's throbbing now.

I got up around 5am because I couldn't breathe and tried to find some last antibiotics from other illnesses. I know you really shouldn't do that, but I was desperate for some relief. I went back to sleep on the couch and had weird, lucid dreams. I was dumb founded. My brain must just be on overdrive period. My friend Adrian and I were suspecting it was the cocktail of medication I'm on. I don't think I've really talked much about the medication I take, so I guess I'll do that now.

I on 5 different medications. I'm on Baclofen for muscle tightness. That's 10mg twice a day. I'm on Remeron for anxiety disorder. That's 15mg supposedly 2 a day, but I only take one. Prilosec prescription strength. That's 40mg. Gabaapentin 100m twice a day. I am also on a sleep aid called Restoril, 30mg. I've been trying not to take it every night, but lately it's been super hard.

The only problem I have with these medications, and the MOST important thing about these medicines other than that they actually work, is that they knock me out for hours at a time after I take them. And since at least 3 of these are supposed to be twice a day, you can see the frustration.

Why do I bring them up? Well, mostly because my parents don't seem to understand why I spend so much time sleeping. I guess it's probably boredom too. But mostly it's the medicine. If I don't lay down when I can, I feel like I'm high as a kite. Then I just can't FOCUS. So it's terrible. It's darned if I do, darned if I don't. Sometimes I want to say shuck it all, and do what I have to do, and that's what I do.

The other side effect is, of course, the lucid dreams which is why they were also brought up. Adrian and I believe that the medication has side effects of lucid dreams, or the realistic ones. I've had instances of yelling at people who have said nothing aloud. I've had realistic dreams about Simon Lewis, and I even had one about Harry Potter and the Hogwarts community. Of course all of my dreams are based on whatever I've done that day. If I've talked a lot about Simon, he shows up. If I've read a lot of Iron Trial, Callum Hunt and Aaron Stewart show up. If for some reason I've watched a lot of Teen Wolf, Scott shows up with Derek. Does that make sense? But the dreams themselves are quite disturbing because they are so realistic. I don't mind a good dream with my favorite characters in it, but when I can remember htem for days on end as if they were really here....yeah. I had one of those about Murphy, and it was SO SO upsetting when I woke up and had to remember he was gone. Seriously. The HELL. I shouldn't get upset. Maybe Murphy was just visiting? But I still miss him so much.

And with so many death anniversaries coming up.... you know. I just don't want anyone else showing up. If its that hard for a pet, I don't want to think about how hard it would be on me if humans who I have lost very recently started turning up. You know? So I could totally do without That particular side effect.

Trivia: I am notorious for developing muses and soul bonds with the best friend or secondary character. (Note: See the entry prior to this for more on that)

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