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I've been writing a lot of entries about fandoms, and fanfics, and RPs. But I think it's well overdue to let you guys know what's really going on in my head despite the fact I don't often let that stuff seep into my journals. (That's because I'm either fangirling to escape it, or ranting because people I hang with sometimes annoy the crap out of me).

So here's what's really going on in my head. I am feeling fairly lonely offline. I don't have a lot of social time because I can't get out and about like everyone else. I have to depend on transportation. I have to wait for people to be available. And most of all, my interests aren't waht they used to be. Maybe I'm just too old school or maybe I'm not old school enough. I'm honestly not sure which. Either way, I don't really get to spend time with my closest friends anymore becuase his job is ridiculous and he'd rather spend time with anime than his best friend.

It's too awkward spending time with Patrick because he doesn't know when to draw a damn line. He wears his emotions for me on his sleeve, and thinks I won't pick up on it. Truthfully, it makes things very uncomfortable for me, and despite my telling him that several times, he still wants to be around all the time.

I have so many muses that keep me company every day. But to be honest sometimes I wish I shared the power I gave to Veronica Skylar in "Broken Promises". She, while in Noa's virtual world, can make anything real just by thinking about it. Man, though. If I had that power, the Robas would tear my house to shreds. It's too small for all five of the hyper active boys. But would I want them, or would I insist upon Simon Lewis from The Mortal Instruments? Tough call!

Maybe instead, I would conjure up present day friends that didn't live so far away? These are days when I regret leaving New York the most. At least with Lexi, I had someone always who was around, and didn't care if my interests shifted at random. >.< Ugh, why isn't it January yet? Sara, Lexi and I are going to have so much fun!

I know that Lexi has some rough stuff happening in the coming months, so I just want to get better and take care of myself so I can help her when the time comes. Ah, why don't I play Riley? I am so much like her, wanting to fix everything and everyone. I can't even fix myself. LOL.

Farkle: You aren't broken. You're just depressed. You'll be okay.

You're too smart, Farkle. I don't deserve you.

Farkle: Hah! Everyone deserves a piece of this! Besides, what would my father say?

...I have no idea. YOur father is still not talking to me, except to taunt me that he "got his revenge". >.> Maybe he'd tell me I'm being irrational?

Yeah, see, I can't really deal with real life. I rely too much on my muses, and the fantasy world yet. >.<

Trivia: Even though it's been said that Jonathan has the same type of relationship with Victoria that Espa does, it is shown in later stories that he, indeed, has developed a close older brother/little sister relationship with her, and is very protective of Tori.

PS: from here on, Stuart Minkus= adult! Minkus from Girl Meets World. Minkus refers to him at Farkle's age. <3 I hope that clarifies. Also, in the case above, we're talking Adult Minkus.
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September 2016


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