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So Big Hero 6 has had a pretty big week so far. First on Sunday winning an Oscar for Animated Movie of the Year, and then it was released on Bluray and DVD on Tuesday (this is Wednesday as I am typing, so...). After a loooong day of waiting for hte mail, and then making myself sit through all of my other shows, I finally sat down and watched the movie for the second time.

I am happy to report that I only got a little teary-eyed, and it was at the same part that I was puddles at the first time. This could be for a number of reasons. One, it was really late, and I had had a big cry the night before. Maybe I had no more tears left? I don't know. But the other theory is that I had had my biggest cry the day I saw it, and maybe I didn't need to cry anymore, but just to feel the emotion, acknowledge it, and then let Baymax do his job, and comfort me.

This second viewing also brought on a new interpretation of the Baymax character. Baymax is essentially Tadashi's memory. Wait, that didn't come out right... hmm... how do I explain what I want to say? I kinda saw Baymax's chip as being Tadashi, essentially.And when he gave it to Hiro at the end of the movie it was like, "here, I am here." and all Hiro did was rebuild it. So maybe it isn't Baymax himself, but the microchip? That's the best way I can describe it. It could be likened to having pictures of our loved ones that have passed on. I keep pictures of my baby Murphy, and while I have moved on a little bit (I'm slowly accepting Sandy as a friend, and of course I have Bandit) he's not really gone because I can still tell my friends funny stories about how Murphy took care of me. It gets easier with every passing day to talk about him without choking up.

The same can be said for my two biggest losses: my grnadmother and my adoptive mother, Mama Kat. Do I still choke up mentioning certain things about them? Yes. But not all of the time anymore. Like, I still giggle and smile a bit when I tell the story of the famous, "Your Mom" incident with Lexi in New York. They're not gone from our hearts or our memories, and I think the program chip is some sort of symbolism of that for Hiro, and a reminder for the rest of us who have suffered loss.

I still think that this has been the most tasteful film done by Disney on the subject of loss. Bambi is also a great classic, but this modern take on the subject resonates really strongly with today's audience. If you haven't seen this masterpiece yet, I am still going to urge you until the cows come home to please watch. You will not be sorry you did. (Unless you were tied to a chair and forced to....lol)

Trivia: The very first fanfic I ever wrote was a Boxcar Children fanfic that was a culmination of at least 4 of the books in the series. (I didn't even call it Fanfic back then. LOL)
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So as many of you know, yesterday was my birthday, and even though I turned 34, I still celebrated as if I was 21. LOL. I spent my day at Arundel Mills, a mall that is 30 minutes away from the house, and a treat when I go, so I only do it once a year, and usually it falls on my b-day.

So everything went smoothly as far as getting there. There was an air of disappointment once we hit the Disney Store, and things seemed to go downhill from there. The thing is, there was no Big Hero 6 merchandise. I mean, they had Fred in his dragon superhero form as a plushie, and they had a plushie of Baymax in his armor, but I wanted a regular Baymax plushie, and they didn't have any, nor did they have any of the smaller action figures.

The kicker was they had a plethora of Frozen merchandise. Even after Christmas it was fully stocked up. I was really disappointed, and honestly, it's made me kind of bitter towards Frozen for the moment. I'm sure that will pass, becuase I do like the story. (and I can't pass up an opportunity to listen to "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" even I want to!)

I honestly don't understand why Disney isn't giving Big Hero 6 the due attention it deserves. It's crazy, really. I get that Frozen is big. It will probably be big for a long time yet. Just like Hannah Montana and High School Musical were. But I don't think Disney is being fair. Yes, keep selling the Frozen merchandise, but don't snub the movie you worked so hard to produce and bring to the big screen, and don't snub the people who went to see it, either. The people who want to buy the merchandise, and the people who would go more than once to the same movie (which I fully intend to do).

That aside, things continued to go downhill once I go to Dave and Busters. Now, by this point, I was already pretty annoyed, and upset because not only did Disney Store not have Big Hero 6, but FYE was completely sold out of any Baymax plushies and weren't restocking (yes, I asked, just for my own reference). And tons of Frozen merchandise abounded. So when I got to Dave and Busters and found out that instead of the 3 hours I had allotted for dinner and gaming was to be cut down to an hour and a half because, LOL, freakin' winter weather advisory and freezing over!, I was beyond pissed.

To add to my bad mood, there was a mess of confusion about the bill that we did incur, and the staff was way less than courteous to us. They did not get a tip. Period. >.< Screw that. I was pissed.

The day did wind up salvaged; however, by winning over 3k tickets and being able to splurge on Pixie Stix and Sweet Tarts. My two favorite candies in the world. I also got myself a new tumbler to drink out of since Mom had been borrowing my other one. I also got myself a new Grumpy Cat plushie, and Sara bought me some cotton candy. Lexi got me a Mr. Goodbar and a Hershey bar(but that was more for my hellweek than my birthday).

Some other things that I got for my birthday were two wrist bands from Sara from Ouran High School Host Club, a wallpaper from Kay with Baymax and Hiro doing the fist bump (if you haven't seen the movie, that probably isn't going to make any sense to you guys, but it's my favorite part of the movie. Well, one of my favorite scenes at any rate), and 100.00 from Mommy and Daddy to spend anyway I choose. Which is awesome. Cause I can still order from Amazon if today's plans fail.

Even though I didn't end up getting what I went to the mall to get, I am still pretty happy with how yesterday went. I got a bit bratty towards the end, but I'm glad my friends who've known me for a while could understand why I was that way. It was a great b-day, and I am looking forward to a whole new year of life.

Trivia: My favorite animated Disney movie is Lilo and Stitch. My favorite animated movie of all time is The Secret of Nimh.
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So I haven't written a real entry in here in ages, and I'm sorry about that. I mostly don't do writing when all I'm going to do is whine about personal stuff. But I need some where to put some of this pent up stress, so here it goes.

I am greatly worried about my brother Daniel. He has been living with "depression" for almost 2 months. And I put it in quotes because I'm honestly not sure if he's truly depressed or using it as a cover to be allowed to sleep all day knowing that Daddy C won't push him for fear of driving him to suicide. But either way. Things are not right with this boy (yes, boy, even though he is 20). He's staying up all night, sleeping all day, and putting his family second yet again. It's to the point Mom doesn't even want to give him money for Christmas shopping, because she's afraid he'll spend it on Weed.

Yes that is something he does. He has gotten pretty bad about it ever since Cellular Sales let him go over a technicality. He'll be back there again in April, but that's a long time not to do anything. -sigh- I just don't really know what to do, or if I can really do anything, to be honest.

All I know is it is putting a strain on Mom and Cal's marriage, and that's making me feel anxious, and I don't do good with anxiety. And at least I've gotten to the point where I'm not wanting to throw up every time things get tense. (Thank you, Remeron!) But I just... this is the freakin' holidays! Things shouldn't be this intense, and strained right now. Or ever, but especially not right now.

Not to mention, the trial is going on for the accident that took my second mother away from last year, so I'm stressing about that, and trying to hold it together for Lexi, and that family. I can't be strong for both families, though, and eventually, I am expecting a breakdown. If I don't get it, then I will thank my medicine some more, because it really has helped a lot.

The holidays are depressing for me sometimes now because of the losses I've suffered. My grandparents are all gone, I lost my best best friend almost 2 years ago (my cat, Murphy. And yes even though he is "just an animal" he really was my baby, and I loved him dearly. )And now Mama Kat is gone, too, and it just feels like the loss is never ending.

If I could ever figure out how to put pictures in this thing, I would put some of hte ones of Baymax I have been drawing. He just needs to be experienced by anyone who is suffering or in pain. That kind of pain is really hard to come to terms with. Baymax does a great job of healing Hiro in the movie Big Hero 6. I just want to snuggle him dearly.

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September 2016

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