faeriewings1781: Farkle being Farkle (Its Farkle Time)
So as you may know, for a few weeks now I have been dealing with a lot of pain in my left elbow that was starting to effect everything I did from typing to cooking dinner. I can now say that I've found something that helps! Today I was out shopping with Mom and she bought me a copper fit compression sleeve for my elbow. This thing has helped from the moment I put it on! I am so happy because this means I can be on the PC and write again. I'm still not going to chance being online a lot and typing in multiple applications at a time. This means I will be relying on my phone for messaging and Plurk. <3

While I was out today, I bought myself a badly needed new Tumbler and some Squishy sand. This is a brand of kinetic sand. I bought it in hopes of finding another outlet for my anxiety in the event I can't get on the PC to write. This stuff is exactly as advertised. It doesn't stick to anything. And it's not sticky or oily (like play doh or sculpy clay). I am planning to use it for Zen therapy. To maybe help my creativity, and relax nerves.

I am on a count down now, too. This countdown is for Big Hero 6. I get my copy on Bluray on Tuesday! I can't wait. I'm super excited to have Baymax in my hands. I have tried to watch it using other means, but it has all failed. I guess that's what I get for trying to do something not quite legal.

Last night I worte close to 1k words on my dystopian. I love how this is coming out, and I am excited. Journey is about to tell Atlas his full plans for bringing down the Dictator. It's going to be awesome! I can't wait to see what these guys have planned for me tonight after Backstrom. (Yes, I am watching a new Fox show, and hoping it doesn't get cancelled. It's by producer Hart Hanson who does Bones, and did the Finder. So far only Bones has been successful.) Anyway, that's what I'm hoping to happen tonight.

But for now, I am going to get caught up on my Mobile games and then rest. Going out really racked on my nerves today, and I'm not used to that. It was Wal-Mart for crying out loud. Who gets anxious at a Wal-Mart?! If this keeps up, I may have problems when it comes to going back to Barnes and Noble on a regular basis in the Spring. Here's hoping...
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So for almost a month, I didn't take my medicine for anxiety or for my joints because I've been taking other medicine that knocks me out. Even though I have admitted ot liking the ability to just be able to go to sleep to stave off boredom, I don't like the idea that I might overdose on all of those medications and not wake up. So when I"m sick, all the other medicines get put on the back burner.

Unfortunately that means that I have to re-adjust. Again. The adjustment period shouldn't take too long, but it still frustrating. When I'm on this stuff I just have to sleep which means no tagging, no writing, nothing. This is a bad time to go back on this stuff with National Novel Writing Month so close. Though I am thinking I Might try something in November, and take my medicine at night, period. My anxiety medication alone kills me sleep wise. I sleep all damn day when I am on that stuff.

The other thing I never liked about the re-adjustment period is how quiet the medicine makes the muses. This is something I struggle with because I mentioned in my last entry, they are the things that keep me the most sane when my real friends are busy. Not that my muses aren't real friends. As a solid soul bonder, I know better than that. I just mean there are days when I'd rather explain my in real life problems to someone who can give me solid feedback. But the bonds and muses all know that they are super important to me, and that I love them all equally and differently. Each of them knows that for whatever reason I have made a connection with them, and that is what make my friendship with muse x different from muse y.

A good example? Farkle Minkus. Farkle is probably the youngest soul bond I have that i talk to on a daily basis. Ej Roba would be second youngest. While Farkle is only 12, I find myself going to him for advice already for a number of things.

Yet for Simon Lewis... well, he and I trying this dating thing again. He's been quietly supportive while I work through all of my older fandoms, and re-discover them (this applies to Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World) . He and I are still as thick as ever friendship wise. I don't have to pretend anything. He knows I love him, and I still love The Mortal Instruments, and all of my literary fandoms. I just really need to be in this nostalgic place right now. And i need to be around people who understand/ support these fandoms. SOme of you guys who read my journal don't really know me all too well yet, but I can tell you that these are things I have to go through sometimes, and they last for months.

Damn it, I've gone off on a tangent about anything but the subject at hand. This sucks. I tend to do that, too, when re-adjusting. Farkle and I are going to have a lot of fun, yes we are. Lets hope he is just as understanding as my older muses. I know Minkus gets it. and Stuart Minkus is concerned because the last time he remembered me, I was not on medication for anything. >.> I had no idea I even HAD a Minkus before. That just creeps me out. LOL.

Trivia: For a long time, Michelangelo of the Ninja Turtles and I would come up with Pizza combinations I'd never eat. LOL. (Thankfully, Mom never humored those requests.)
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Okay, so Fall is definitely here, and my system is not happy. It started yesterday while I was at Barnes and Noble. By the time Mom picked me up at the store, I had no voice. When I went to bed, I was stuffy and my head throbbed. It's throbbing now.

I got up around 5am because I couldn't breathe and tried to find some last antibiotics from other illnesses. I know you really shouldn't do that, but I was desperate for some relief. I went back to sleep on the couch and had weird, lucid dreams. I was dumb founded. My brain must just be on overdrive period. My friend Adrian and I were suspecting it was the cocktail of medication I'm on. I don't think I've really talked much about the medication I take, so I guess I'll do that now.

I on 5 different medications. I'm on Baclofen for muscle tightness. That's 10mg twice a day. I'm on Remeron for anxiety disorder. That's 15mg supposedly 2 a day, but I only take one. Prilosec prescription strength. That's 40mg. Gabaapentin 100m twice a day. I am also on a sleep aid called Restoril, 30mg. I've been trying not to take it every night, but lately it's been super hard.

The only problem I have with these medications, and the MOST important thing about these medicines other than that they actually work, is that they knock me out for hours at a time after I take them. And since at least 3 of these are supposed to be twice a day, you can see the frustration.

Why do I bring them up? Well, mostly because my parents don't seem to understand why I spend so much time sleeping. I guess it's probably boredom too. But mostly it's the medicine. If I don't lay down when I can, I feel like I'm high as a kite. Then I just can't FOCUS. So it's terrible. It's darned if I do, darned if I don't. Sometimes I want to say shuck it all, and do what I have to do, and that's what I do.

The other side effect is, of course, the lucid dreams which is why they were also brought up. Adrian and I believe that the medication has side effects of lucid dreams, or the realistic ones. I've had instances of yelling at people who have said nothing aloud. I've had realistic dreams about Simon Lewis, and I even had one about Harry Potter and the Hogwarts community. Of course all of my dreams are based on whatever I've done that day. If I've talked a lot about Simon, he shows up. If I've read a lot of Iron Trial, Callum Hunt and Aaron Stewart show up. If for some reason I've watched a lot of Teen Wolf, Scott shows up with Derek. Does that make sense? But the dreams themselves are quite disturbing because they are so realistic. I don't mind a good dream with my favorite characters in it, but when I can remember htem for days on end as if they were really here....yeah. I had one of those about Murphy, and it was SO SO upsetting when I woke up and had to remember he was gone. Seriously. The HELL. I shouldn't get upset. Maybe Murphy was just visiting? But I still miss him so much.

And with so many death anniversaries coming up.... you know. I just don't want anyone else showing up. If its that hard for a pet, I don't want to think about how hard it would be on me if humans who I have lost very recently started turning up. You know? So I could totally do without That particular side effect.

Trivia: I am notorious for developing muses and soul bonds with the best friend or secondary character. (Note: See the entry prior to this for more on that)


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September 2016



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