faeriewings1781: (Default)
So tonight I made it my mission to wrap up the fourth fanfic from NaNoWriMo. And I did it. There were some great scenes in the epilogue, and honestly, I liked them a lot more than the rest of the story! LOL

I had a hard time writing the final scene of the story though because I'm not sure what I'm doing after this. I know I am going to write the wedding story eventually because everyone that has followed me with the four fanfic I wrote for November are now shipping Christien and Victoria, and so are asking for that story. I just don't think the whole story can be the wedding, so now I'm going to let that story brew and maybe do some reading.

I cant' bring myself to read The Bane Chronicles now. In fact, after last night, I am completely turned off by the Mortal Instruments right now. I am sure that will fade with time after I've come to my senses. I am going to miss the RP more than anything else, I think. :( But I'll be alright, eventually. I may even be able to play Simon soon.

Adrian gave me an idea for a fanfic. A Mortal Instruments Fanfic. I am going to kill him later. LOL. Or maybe I'll write it and allow it to heal me. It's about Simon as a Shadowhunter. And yes, probably might have some elements from the Tara verse... cause I am now going to have to re-configure that whole thing so that no part of what me and Val did is involved. :( But this could be fun for me. SOME of it may bleed through because I like the original concept I had before we started RPing it....ugh. Why does that have to hurt so much? I knew that that was going to be hardest part of letting her go.

Simon: Hey, we were here way before she was....

Me: I know...

Alec: Hey, I refuse to let you let her ruin this for you.

Me: I know you do. You've all been golden. Just like my friends in the physical plane, and I couldn't be luckier to have all of you. <3 Just...give me time, please?

Alec: don't worry, I will. Just...come back to us when you're ready?

Simon: She will. She has stories she wants to tell.::broad grin::Hey, can our band be really popular in your fanfic?

-dies- Yes, Simon. I will make sure you guys are mega famous, okay? I gotta do something in JOrdan's honor.

Trivia: My TRUE official anime was probably Sailor Moon or one of the Nick Jr. Shows that used to air in the early 90s. (The Noozles or The Little Koala.)
faeriewings1781: (Default)
So for almost a month, I didn't take my medicine for anxiety or for my joints because I've been taking other medicine that knocks me out. Even though I have admitted ot liking the ability to just be able to go to sleep to stave off boredom, I don't like the idea that I might overdose on all of those medications and not wake up. So when I"m sick, all the other medicines get put on the back burner.

Unfortunately that means that I have to re-adjust. Again. The adjustment period shouldn't take too long, but it still frustrating. When I'm on this stuff I just have to sleep which means no tagging, no writing, nothing. This is a bad time to go back on this stuff with National Novel Writing Month so close. Though I am thinking I Might try something in November, and take my medicine at night, period. My anxiety medication alone kills me sleep wise. I sleep all damn day when I am on that stuff.

The other thing I never liked about the re-adjustment period is how quiet the medicine makes the muses. This is something I struggle with because I mentioned in my last entry, they are the things that keep me the most sane when my real friends are busy. Not that my muses aren't real friends. As a solid soul bonder, I know better than that. I just mean there are days when I'd rather explain my in real life problems to someone who can give me solid feedback. But the bonds and muses all know that they are super important to me, and that I love them all equally and differently. Each of them knows that for whatever reason I have made a connection with them, and that is what make my friendship with muse x different from muse y.

A good example? Farkle Minkus. Farkle is probably the youngest soul bond I have that i talk to on a daily basis. Ej Roba would be second youngest. While Farkle is only 12, I find myself going to him for advice already for a number of things.

Yet for Simon Lewis... well, he and I trying this dating thing again. He's been quietly supportive while I work through all of my older fandoms, and re-discover them (this applies to Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World) . He and I are still as thick as ever friendship wise. I don't have to pretend anything. He knows I love him, and I still love The Mortal Instruments, and all of my literary fandoms. I just really need to be in this nostalgic place right now. And i need to be around people who understand/ support these fandoms. SOme of you guys who read my journal don't really know me all too well yet, but I can tell you that these are things I have to go through sometimes, and they last for months.

Damn it, I've gone off on a tangent about anything but the subject at hand. This sucks. I tend to do that, too, when re-adjusting. Farkle and I are going to have a lot of fun, yes we are. Lets hope he is just as understanding as my older muses. I know Minkus gets it. and Stuart Minkus is concerned because the last time he remembered me, I was not on medication for anything. >.> I had no idea I even HAD a Minkus before. That just creeps me out. LOL.

Trivia: For a long time, Michelangelo of the Ninja Turtles and I would come up with Pizza combinations I'd never eat. LOL. (Thankfully, Mom never humored those requests.)
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Okay, so Fall is definitely here, and my system is not happy. It started yesterday while I was at Barnes and Noble. By the time Mom picked me up at the store, I had no voice. When I went to bed, I was stuffy and my head throbbed. It's throbbing now.

I got up around 5am because I couldn't breathe and tried to find some last antibiotics from other illnesses. I know you really shouldn't do that, but I was desperate for some relief. I went back to sleep on the couch and had weird, lucid dreams. I was dumb founded. My brain must just be on overdrive period. My friend Adrian and I were suspecting it was the cocktail of medication I'm on. I don't think I've really talked much about the medication I take, so I guess I'll do that now.

I on 5 different medications. I'm on Baclofen for muscle tightness. That's 10mg twice a day. I'm on Remeron for anxiety disorder. That's 15mg supposedly 2 a day, but I only take one. Prilosec prescription strength. That's 40mg. Gabaapentin 100m twice a day. I am also on a sleep aid called Restoril, 30mg. I've been trying not to take it every night, but lately it's been super hard.

The only problem I have with these medications, and the MOST important thing about these medicines other than that they actually work, is that they knock me out for hours at a time after I take them. And since at least 3 of these are supposed to be twice a day, you can see the frustration.

Why do I bring them up? Well, mostly because my parents don't seem to understand why I spend so much time sleeping. I guess it's probably boredom too. But mostly it's the medicine. If I don't lay down when I can, I feel like I'm high as a kite. Then I just can't FOCUS. So it's terrible. It's darned if I do, darned if I don't. Sometimes I want to say shuck it all, and do what I have to do, and that's what I do.

The other side effect is, of course, the lucid dreams which is why they were also brought up. Adrian and I believe that the medication has side effects of lucid dreams, or the realistic ones. I've had instances of yelling at people who have said nothing aloud. I've had realistic dreams about Simon Lewis, and I even had one about Harry Potter and the Hogwarts community. Of course all of my dreams are based on whatever I've done that day. If I've talked a lot about Simon, he shows up. If I've read a lot of Iron Trial, Callum Hunt and Aaron Stewart show up. If for some reason I've watched a lot of Teen Wolf, Scott shows up with Derek. Does that make sense? But the dreams themselves are quite disturbing because they are so realistic. I don't mind a good dream with my favorite characters in it, but when I can remember htem for days on end as if they were really here....yeah. I had one of those about Murphy, and it was SO SO upsetting when I woke up and had to remember he was gone. Seriously. The HELL. I shouldn't get upset. Maybe Murphy was just visiting? But I still miss him so much.

And with so many death anniversaries coming up.... you know. I just don't want anyone else showing up. If its that hard for a pet, I don't want to think about how hard it would be on me if humans who I have lost very recently started turning up. You know? So I could totally do without That particular side effect.

Trivia: I am notorious for developing muses and soul bonds with the best friend or secondary character. (Note: See the entry prior to this for more on that)
faeriewings1781: (Default)
So I'm reading this new book called The Iron Trial. It is book 1 of 5 in a new series by Cassandra Clare and Holly Black called the Magisterium. I love the book! I do, seriously. It's just like Harry Potter meets THe Hunger Games, and it's thrilling. But the reason I am bringing it up is because it follows the same pattern as all my other fandoms: Me falling for the best friend/secondary characters. Aaron Stewart first reminded me of Jace, with his blonde hair, and sort of holier than thou attitutde, but as the story progressed, his real personality came out, and he's your classic best friend/secondary character. Or rather, my classic. Everyone probably has their own standards! (or I'm just a weird-o...) He sticks up for Call and stand by him, even when things get harder for him for reasons I will not divulge just in case anyone wants to read the book. I may be in the minority here though..

For a twist in the norm... I have a very strong Scott McCall muse from Teen Wolf. Yes, I'm only four episodes in, but can we take a minute to recognize the fact that for the first time in a very l very long time that I have a main character as a muse? Scott was the adorkable sidekick character to Stiles Stilinski for all of five minutes. (I'm being sarcastic... it ws more like for 20 minutes of the first episode). He was your classic you're-killing-my-image best friend. I think Stiles even says something of that effect, too, actually. Complete with inhaler and zero confidence. 20 minutes and a werewolf bite later, Scott goes from wheezing sidekick to sizzling sexy main character. That, my friends, is the real transformation. Forget the wolf bite for a minute there.

That's not to say that he is the first one. He cropped at the same time as Day Wing did. I didn't count Day because I am not sure if he, or June were the main character of the Legend trilogy by Marie Lu. In the end I decided that he didn't count because he and June were co-main characters. So it could go either way. So Scott wins for being the first Main character in a long time. I think the last time this happened it was probably Tris. (So I guess in retrospect it wasn't that long ago, but it just doesn't happen that often, so I guess that's why it always feels like its a while between them.

I'm trying to decide if Simon would be a side character or not in the Mortal Instruments. Either way, he fell into the "best friend" category so he still counts as being a best friend/secondary muse. I think from City of Ashes on he was a part of the ensemble cast. But yeah. My statement stands as he was always Clary's best friend first. That's what he was known for in the books, aside from his and Jace's sniping at each other.

None of my more recent muses besides Scott falls into the main character category. Isaac was even a secondary character in The Fault in Our Stars. So I do find this to be an interesting part of how I choose my muses. Of course, I also believe muses choose you, just as much. If Scott becomes more of a bond than a muse, that will be even more true.

Want more proof? Let's look at one of my oldest fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My first muse for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even though I didn't call them that at the time, was Xander Harris. My second muse was Oz. My third muse was Willow, my fourth was Spike, my final muse for that fandom was Dawn Summers. Not once did I develop a Buffy muse.

Charmed was a bit of a tie. I got a muse for Leo Wyatt and Piper Halliwell at the same time. Leo came just a bit before Piper though so in that respect my experiment stands true.

I'm not complaining about the lack of main character muses. It actually works in my favor when it comes to RPing. So many people have main character muses that they need either their best friends or supporting characters. I can usually deliver, even if it takes me a little time to warm up to RPing as said muse.

Dreams...

Sep. 27th, 2014 07:32 pm
faeriewings1781: (Default)
I hate this stupid medication so much. I am having the worst dreams possible. Not all of them are bad, but most of them are just downright weird. I keep having dreams where I'm within a world that isn't mine. I mean... I'm with family, but there are all these secrets about the reality of the situation. It's just.....ugh.

The morning before, I yelled at Mom to shut up when all she was doing was sneezing. She also heard me yelling at Simon from the Mortal Instruments. I don't know why. I do find that to be very amusing. So strange, too.

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