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So I decided to do something different this year. Instead of bitching and moaning about the fact I will never have a series that is the Next Hunger Games or Divergent, I'm going to pretend those novels don't exist (partially cause Mockingjay part 1 comes out RIGHT in the middle of NaNoWriMo). Instead I am going to look to those authors (and a few of my other favorites) for their inspiration. This first letter is a Pep Talk from Marie Lu, author of the New York Times best-selling Legend trilogy. Others will follow and be LJ-cut so as not to clog up people's Friends' Lists.

Veronica Roth's Pep Talk from 2014

Marie Lu's Pep Talk from 2013

Holly Black's Pep Talk from 2010

John Green's Pep Talk from 2010

Crazy Idea

Sep. 4th, 2016 08:53 am
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So I woke up from a dream where I was in a store that was dedicated to Fandom. Not just a particular fandom, but ALL the fandoms ever. The store was massive, as you can imagine. A store like that would be killer, yeah? Of course in reality we have stores like Hot Topic, Suncoast (for those who still have one) and FYE (same applies). But this store...there wasn't anything in it BUT fandom stuff.

I even saw and recognized fandoms that I personally am not a part of...yet. Considering Steven Universe. My friend Anthony thinks I'd like it, and so do a few other friends of mine. I got Hulu back so now I have no real excuse not to watch it. Haha. Well, I could probably come up with a few, but I'll try it none the less. The episodes are only 11 minutes a piece. I should be able to watch a few at a time, really.

Anyway, I thought you guys would be interested in this idea. Not that we can really do anything about it??
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So I have some more details to share with those who are still keeping track. (I Don't know who is still reading this since I don't update as often as I really should, so....).

Some important dates:

22nd: Disconnect of cable and internet.

23rd: We load up the truck with the help of movers and Lee.

24th-25th: Moving days. We'll be leaving Maryland at 4am and arriving in Florida sometime on the 25th. We'll be staying overnight at a hotel in between.

26th is our closing date, and we'll get to start moving in on Saturday when we'll have help that Cal and Mom lined up down there. We'll be staying in the house the night of the 26th though.

I currently don't have any idea when we'll have internet again at the new house. I'm presuming it will be within the first two weeks of living there. But I can't promise that. I will; however, have my phone on me so Plurk, Facebook, AIM and texting will be available during the down time.

That's about it for the timeline. Sorry I don't have more to share at this time. I just wanted to make sure you guys are kept up to date since I've been awful about keeping up with Plurk lately.
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I gotta say. When I don't get my day out, I quickly start becoming irritable, and bored. Not in that order. Not only that, I start misreading situations, and taking things the wrong way. And when it happens twice within a day of each other...yeah. It's time to do something different. I think when that starts happening I might just start avoiding people all together, especially online. It's even harder to read things online and I don't want that. You know?

Tuesday this will all be remedied. I am going to be careful with my spending, but I am going to have lots of fun, too. Me and Fred always have fun at the mall, so....knowing him, I'll probably dragged to the Apple Store. He loves that store for some reason. I like it for a bit, but then I get bored. Hahaha. He could stay all day, probably. I love my little Otaku bff. (Yes I know that doesn't make sense since we're talking about Apple, but it still fits, okay!)

Oh, I've told most people already. But I wanted to mention it here just in case. I got my first official Etsy sale last night. That is 23.00 extra dollars in my pocket. This makes me so happy. And I also have the flea market coming this month. that will be money I am using towards my Wii U. I hope I make a nice profit there. It would be nice, don't you think?

Lexi and I were recently talking about Conbust and whether or not I'd need to have a business permit to sell my crafts there. I would like to find out, but Conbust itself doesn't have a working site for 2016 yet. I am hoping that comes up to date.

Anyway, that's a short update on what's been going on for me. I hope you guys are doing alright, and I'll try and update more, but no real promises. <3
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Last year (2014) at Otakon, I re-birthed my Yu gi oh fandom by accident. This year, it seems I've re-birthed my Rats of NIMH fandom. Back when I was about twelve or thirteen, I had invisible friends of several of the rats from three book series. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me go back to the beginning.

The fandom started for me with the movie The Secret of Nimh, which was based on the novel, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh by Robert C. O'Brien. Justin the Rat was my first rodent imaginary friend despite having been in love with Mickey Mouse and Speedy Gonzales for many years prior to that. I also developed an imaginary friend out of Mr. Ages because I was always sick and he was doctor mouse in that book. I thought if he could cure me than mice couldn't be that bad. This was the series that made me love rodents, by the way. Probably not a surprise to anyone, really.

I think I read the book for the first time when I was third or fourth grade. It was confusing because there was no real magic in the book like in the movie. There were no "glowing eyes" or magical amulets that lifted the Frisby (by the way, did anyone else ever notice that the name was quietly changed to "Brisby" in the Don Bluth movie? I never noticed that until I got older and IMDB.com was born, but....) house to the lee of the stone. But I will say this, I actually now prefer the book over the movie. Jenner wasn't technically a bad guy in the books. He just had a difference of opinion, and thankfully, poor Nicodemus didn't die, either!

The best thing about the book over the movie for me was that Justin the rat had a much bigger role than he'd had in the movie. I really liked that he was the one who rescued Mrs. Frisby from the cage. Better than what they had happen in the movie.

Around the time I went to middle school I discovered the other two books. These two were written by O'Brien's daughter, Jane Leslie Conly. After re-reading the original book (which I had recently reacquired, it seems I remember...) I picked up Racso and the Rats of Nimh. I fell in love with the Rats all over again. This time there was no farmer, just the amazingly innovative city they'd developed in the forest called Thorn Valley. Racso, Jenner's son, was my first wise-ass imaginary friend, and he was soon followed by tech expert Arthur as we had recently gotten our first computer! Of course Justin was in the book too, and his character, and Timothy Frisby got more development than in the first book. (Yeah, because when I was in middle school I totally understood what "character development" was. Right, self. -rolls eyes-)

It was with this book that my mind began developing little stories about the Rats. I never wrote them down because I didn't have the means to do so back then. I didn't really start writing down "fanfiction" until The Boxcar Children series came into my life, but that's another story all together. The ability to SEE my imaginary friends developed much stronger, too. I could see Justin and co. sitting on my kitchen counter, on my shoulder as I went to school, and even "clues" to where they would be after school. Yeah, my imagination was lit on fire by this book, and I love Jane Leslie Conly for it.

But it didn't stop there. For there was another book. The last book was called RT, Margret, and The Rats of NIMH. I was really enthralled with it because of the story. In the book, two human children get lost in the woods, and the Rats help take care of them until the winter when they must return to human civilization. A new rat character named Christopher was introduced. Because this is the second book to take place in Thorn Valley, the world of the intelligent rats was expanded. Because of the way it was written, my imagination went there a lot. It probably helped that the backyard I had at the time was overgrown and looked a *lot* like a forest. I even had a secret spot where "Justin" would leave things for me to do in order to help the Rats keep their secret base in the backyard. Ugh, I miss that house now. Not so much what hapepned in it because there were a *lot* of bad things that happened, but...well, I'm sure you guys understand!

So I'm sure you guys are also wondering what's brought me back to memory lane where these books are concerned. Well. We have a mouse in our kitchen. And he freaks me out. I was musing how much it's crazy he freaks me out. Because all of the mice and rats in the books are brown or gray like him. I have even had a talk with him. I told him I didn't want to set a trap and kill him. I just wanted him to leave. Hell, it worked on Golden Girls when Rose and Dorthy did it. I figured if I showed some compassion....update: It didn't. We found he'd gotten into all our chips and things right after that. LOL. But yeah, that's really what started it.
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I'm enjoying a new mobile game called Fallout Shelter. I'm told it's a spin off standalone of the Fallout series. I've never played any of those, but I am enjoying this game a lot. I will have to look into it, maybe.

I am alos still working steadily on headbands and bracelets for the flea market next month. I am on a time crunch now so I will really need to focus on that in the next couple of weeks.

You may have noticed I am hardly on. The reason for this is that I traded my laptop with Rai for a wireless bluetooth keyboard and an external hard drive. He says things are amazing. Fantastic. I am elated with my keyboard. Ican use it on my phone and on my tablet. I ama currently updating from my phone using the keyboard.

My website is gettin views, and so is my twitter and facebook page for Rainbow Bridge Custom accessories. I am so thrilled! Anyway, Iam going to get off here and take a cat nap. Later going to work on some necklaces and headands for the flea market. You guys feel free to message me on AIM. Iwill have my phone on. Love you all!
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I don't like insomniac nights. I really don't like them when I have to be up and ready to go by 8:30am to go out with Mom for the day. >.>

I don't know what's keeping me awake. I hate when that happens most. Cause usually I can tell, and then I make said problem not a problem anymore.

It could just be me being excited about the possibility of all the sales I'm gonna make. Maybe I'm worried about not having enough product by September 19th for the Flea Market. That could be it, actually. Things keep happening that forbid me from making a profit. Last night and today it was about organizing my bands. I got whole big shipment in that included Marcia's present. So I spent time going through that, and trying to decide what I was going to invest my time in.

I've come up with a surefire plan to make sure I would have enough at least of Alpha bracelets and keychains.

3 items MINIMUM from the Alpha Loom a day. 4 if I'm feeling ambitious and don't have other outside of crafts things going on. The other things I make with Finger Loom, Rainbow Loom, and now the Monster Tail won't take that long.

I made a sale thanks to my mom. She bought one of my first Monster Tail bracelets for 10.00. I will show her how my PayPal app works tomorrow when I take her credit card information manually. The only thing I don't like about that is that I get a fee taken out every time I have to enter it manually. I should have my Credit Card reader by next week, though, so Mom's should be the last one I take manually.

Later today Mom and I are going to be in the area where Michael's is. Thta's good. I have to get some pink bands. Can you believe that after all that crap I ordered I never ordered pink? I need some though. I have no more. >.> And since I love my Pink lemonade pattern...hahahahhahahaha. But thankfully, bands only cost 2.00 at Michael's. Oh, and I need to get one more case because I want to be anal and sort my Tie-dyes out completely. >.>
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So the last few weeks have been...eventful. I've been dealing some family stuff. I've been dealing with my own stuff, and I've been making some changes in my life. So I'm going to discuss some of these things, but not all of them.

First and foremost: My brother Daniel is going to be a daddy. Yep, you read that correctly. My brother got his girlfriend pregnant. It's been horribly tense here, actually. No one has clued Cal in, and there is the vague possiblity of Daniel moving out because of this. So we're all on pins and needles. Well, the ones of us who know about it.

Daniel has been playing avoid the family lately. Mom had a cookout the other day and it was supposed to be a time for Ashley to get used to Mom more, and because April was going to be over, neither of them showed up. Well. Actually. Daniel came home from work, told Mom and Cal that he had ot get something out of his car, and then apparently, Ashley came to pick him up. I can't blame Ashley for this one. The thing of it is that Daniel pretty much decided for her that she wasn't going to go to the cookout. But he never told Mom that he wasn't going to be there himself. Mom had made extra food, and he never came in. April wasn't too thrilled either as she hasn't had the chance to really talk to him about everything, and she wants to see exactly how he is feeling about things without people being around and him being afraid of offending someone. You know? I mean, I love Daniel dearly, but that was a complete mess up on his part. >.>

I've seen him maybe five minutes out of the last week. Its crazy. Granted part of that time he's working at the pool place, but still. It's crazy how little I've seen him. Which begs the question, why will it maatter when he moves out? I won't see him much anyway, you know? But I Guess it's the idea of at least he comes home at night, and I know he's okay. Maybe it's got more to do with hte not knowing how he'll do that scares me. I've always been a sort of second maternal figure to him, and even he knows that. That is probably what the bigger issue is here. But enough about my issues on that.

I have a much bigger issue effecting me right now. I am battling with rotting teeth on the left lower side of my jaw right now. I have been trying as hard as I can to raise money even going as far as to set up a GoFundMe in hopes of raising some money to go towards my dental. But as it stands I've only got 63.00 because I guess they take a fee out or somthing? Anyway, I'm still working on it. I've been trying to remember to post the page link every day on Facebook and Twitter in hopes of getting RTs and Shares...or even donors. But the pain is ridiculous. I'm down to eating just soft foods. Anything I Don't think will hurt/get stuck in my teeth. A few nights ago, the pain was so bad, I couldn't lay on my left side. It was miserable. Also I am getting lots of random headaches and earaches. Not fun, and very annoying.

On the flip side... I am excited about at least one thing. I am doing a lifestyle change starting in June. I am going to be trying out Paleo for 30 days. Paleo is a high Protein Low Carb type of deal. Studies have shown that adjusting your diet as such can reduce anxiety and depression. If I can get this to work, I might be able ot get off at least some of my medicine. Some of it I use for my Cerebral Palsy and digestive issues. But wouldn't that be nice for me not to feel so tired, and weak all day long? I've really gotten tired of it, to be honest with you guys. I hate sleeping all day, I hate being awake late. (I mean, I don't mind the Golden Girls marathons and I'm even starting to like Frasier to a point, but come on...)

The reason I got into Paleo is because one of my friends was doing Whole30 this month, and she pointed me in that direction first. But Whole30 had a few too many restrictions that with my budget would've been too hard to accommodate. Then I started researching Paleo because I had heard of it before. But I was thinking of the wrong term. LOL. As it turns out, Paleo is a bit more forgiving, and it will work nicer with the limited budget that I have. My confidence was further boosted on a chance trip to the library where I discovered Elizabeth McGaw's book, Paleo On A Budget. I've pored over this book twice and a third time. I'm going to be purchasing a Nook copy for myself on Tuesday when I get paid. She also has a second book, and I will undoubtedly get that one, as well. With tools like this, her podcast, and her blog, I am sure to be able to succeed with this.

In other news, I started a Serial Blog. What is it? It means that I am writing and posting chapters of fanfic as often as possible. It's just another platform for my creativity, mainly. The fanfiction I am posting in there right now is Avengers related. I will probably start posting my recent Yu gi oh fanfic in there, too. Oddly, I got two new followers on my Yu gi oh fanfic for Victoria. It was kind of weird. This was on Fanfiction.net. I don't know if I will ever post my recent installments there. Part of me wants to, but it just kinda feels bittersweet at this point because I haven't posted anything there since my last Twilight Fanfic went up years ago. And then I took it down, like an idiot and lost some of my OTHER stuff, as well cause of all the crashes and inabilities to save and back up. So no, I don't think I can, with a sound mind, take it down. I have uncompleted fanfic up there still that I leave there because I consider it a part of my golden age. My friend Brie will know which fic I am talking about. I still have fond memories of this fic (and plotting it!).

Mom had a health scare earlier in the month. She was having heart palpatations, and peeing a lot, and it was terrible. She has since been put on an inhaler called BREO, and she's on Chantix to stop smoking. And this time, it is working. Thank goodness! We actually thought she had diabetes, but she didn't. I won't lie. I was a bit disappointed that she didn't. I mean, I don't *want* her to have diabetes, but I do think that if both SHE had it, and CAL had it, then maybe having to not have stuff in the house would have helped Cal a bit more. Maybe. Mom even said that, so I don't technically feel too bad for saying something like that.

I'm out of things to tell you guys. But I wanted you guys to know what's been going on because I know I haven't been around much and I thought you guys deserved an explanation for that. I'll be in and out as the summer progresses. (Especially with the pool and everything.)
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I had this conversation the other day with Lissa that I had so many different muses that sometimes, I get a headache. Well. Today I gained two more! And I am okay with this.

Daddy treated me and Daniel to the Avengers: Age of Ultron. I am happy to report that I was was not disappointed with this sequel. I won't go into the plot because it might give away important things for people who haven't and want to see it. Yet, I have to talk about at least two of things because they are the muses I mentioned.

The characters in question are The Scarlet Witch (aka Wanda Maximoff) and Quicksilver ( aka Pietro Maximoff). It didn't take me too long to get the tickle of a muse on either of these guys. It's not hard to see why. They're both teens. And I am known for developing muses of the like. I can't give out too many more details because of spoilers. If you want to discuss the movie, you know how to get a hold of me. Or most of you should anyway.

Daddy also bought me some compression gloves. SO now I actually look like goth chick with my elbow compression sleeves and the compression gloves. LOL. Appropriate since I have been reading a book series whose main character is a goth chick who is obsessed with vampires. Predictably she meets and falls in love with a vampire named Alexander. And yes, before you ask, I have a couple of muses for it as well.

I have so many new muses guys. Some you have met, and some you may not meet for quite some time. I am probably going to end up bringing in at least a couple of them into Grande Latte. <3 Maybe? We'll see. Ezekiel needs someone to play with.

Finally

Apr. 29th, 2015 08:13 pm
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Dreamwidth has been giving me the run around trying to get my password reset. I have so much I want to talk about with you guys, but I still don't have a lot of stamina on the computer. I have been pushing the envelope lately between working on Bubblews (which I picked up yesterday again) and bringing myself up to speed on RPGs.

But mostly, I've been spending time with two of my best friends. Adrian and Lissa have been enjoying my newest mission to re-affirm our friendship. We've spent the last two days getting me back into the swing of RPing, and talking about how I had been RPing long before Valerie came along. And in my mind, I realized how right they were.

Lissa and I have always been very close. Its Adrian that I wanted to bond with, and now, I really have. Now let me explain for those who know about this crush I have admitted to on Adrian. Adrian has been someone I have been curious about from the first time Lissa and I started talking. He was the creator of the Nic Wheeler fan page on Facebook. That's the guy everyone wanted for Adrian Ivashkov in the Vampire Academy movie that came out a while ago. I was in love with Nic Wheeler, definitely. I had a lot of appreciation for someone who appreciated the fans of his work, even if it was simply the book trailers for the Vampire Academy series. It took me a while to get up the nerve to even message Adrian after I'd added him on Facebook.

For some reason even being friends with him at first seemed a bit out there considering I knew that he was Lissa's best friend. It was like being invited into an exclusive club to me. But once I was in...well, let the adventures begin!

I think I developed this crush slowly, then all at once. For a while, I denied it. Nope, couldn't crush on him! He had Em. And Em was also a good friend of mine by the time the crush developed itself. But seriously. At some point, I told him about it, and he was okay with this. As it turns out, I'm not the first, and I probably won't be the last. He's got lots of platonic wives and girlfriends. Em apparently gets amused by all this. So it's all good.

But more than that, Adrian has definitely become someone I feel comfortable enough to go to on almost any topic. And I'm just kinda glad that I eventually *did* get up the balls to IM him finally, and get to know him. He's a big part of who I am now, and I can't imagine my life without him in it. And here's to hoping I'll never have to.

Trivia: The first vampire series I ever read straight through was the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
faeriewings1781: (Espa Roba)
First and foremost, happy birthday to one of my favorite anime muses of all time, Espa Roba! I am sincerely hoping his brothers are giving him a break today... haha. And Tori and her Psychosis, too!

I didn't have anywhere else to put this that it wouldn't be seen by the wrong person, so I'm here to write a bout something that's quasi-bugging me. I've had a major crush on my friend Adrian for a long time. Sometimes when this happens and I know they're either not interested or are taken, I tend to automatically slap that "brother" label on them, making them off limits. Well. That's not working so well right now. I didn't realize it until last night, in the middle of talking to him, of all times. Boy did that conversation get weird! (I would *never* tell him. It would be too odd.)

I thought I'd want to talk to Lissa about it, but... I don't know if I can trust her not to say something to him. On the other hand, if I suddenly stop talking to him, he might know something's up. Of course, Adrian and I don't talk nearly as often as me and Lissa do. So maybe he won't notice if I suddenly don't reply... but goddamn it.

Earlier in the week I tried and decided to ax OkCupid. I'm getting nothing but the creepers, and none of them really seem to be able to read the profiles of the girls they contact. Mine clearly states that I am looking for friendship only. They all wanna meet up right away, and I'm not about to go down that road. They must not read the profiles in full for sure if they missed that I also wrote in BIG letters that I watch crime dramas such as SVU and Criminal Minds. I learn a lot about avoiding trouble from those shows. And there has been more than one episode on at least SVU about online crime. (and now CSI Cyber.. well, you get the picture.) So yeah, no, OKcupid and all dating sites are off the table. Back to the drawing board, or moping alone in my room while my brother Dan's adorkable best friend comes over and small talks with me, and gives me hugs, and my friend at BN continues to Friendzone me. (Not that dating him right now is the best idea until he can get his life together and get off the streets. He also smokes weed, and while I don't have a problem with that in general, I don't want to date someone who depends on it...so never mind him...) -sigh- And then there's the other guy who I'm keeping unnamed.

So relationships are back to the soul bond realm. Currently, I am actually...with Espa Roba. Don't judge. You don't know what he and his brothers have done for me over the years! Besides, he's 27, not the 15 year old he was when he and I were initially introduced on Yu gi Oh! He's helping try and tune back into my spiritual side. It's been an uphill battle with all of my medicine. He's familiar with this struggle becuase of his mom and Tori. So he's patient. Oh, and I should mention that this Espa isn't the same incarnation as my Fic!verse Espa. That Espa is still firmly committed to Nora, and they are still getting married. Technically, my boyfriend Espa DOES come from the anime, and not from my own fic!verse.

This will probably be my last entry for a bit because technically I am supposed to doing the Read-A-Thon and be lost in books. So that's what I'm going back to right now. I will talk to you guys soon! And if you have any useful advice, please leave it here? Thanks!
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So I am on a train for the first time by myself. It's been nice and quiet so far. I had a hiccup early on where my walker wouldn't fit down the train aisle so I could go and get food from the cafe car, but some of the nicer passengers that were sitting a few seats behind me kindly went and got me something! That was so sweet.

I am currently in NYC at their train station, Penn Station. We depart in 3 minutes to continue my journey. This is basically a trial run for me to see if I can efficiently take a train somewhere without Mom or anyone else. I want to take a bigger trip in September to Wisconsin. I have friend who is really wanting to meet me. <3

This week is sure to be a lot fun. How could it not be? I'll be with Lexi, I'll see my babies that I had to leave in NY, I'll get to meet my adopted nephew Liam... it will just be...amazeballs. I can't wait. Soon! Very soon!

Now I am in NYC at their Penn Station, waiting to depart on the longer leg of my trip to Syracuse/ Spencer. I can't wait to see all of my friends and family again. This is my f
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So I'm writing about book lists today! I have so many things I want to read and the only way I can see this happening is if I stop getting online, stop chatting, stop gaming (mobile games and otherwise). None of which I can see happening in the near future. My whole existence seems to be tied to the Internet and the keyboard.

But here is the list I have planned for the immediate future in no certain order:

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children: The Hollow City (book #2 in the series)

Paper Towns

Unmarked (The Legion #2)

The 5th Wave

2 books by my friend Trisha Wooldrige

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

Young World

Prodigy (the rest of it)

Champion

the 50 Shades books. (The ONLY reason I am reading them is because I was told by a trusted friend of mine that they are way more than just sex. I want to form my own opinion on them instead of what everyone else thinks and just following that. Also, I read the back of the third book, and it really intrigued me because it seemed psychological, so we'll see. )

There are actually a ton more books that I really can't think of the name of. PRobably ight start re-reading the Robert Langdon series by Dan Brown, but I'm not sure yet. We'll see. <3 Anyway, I'll talk to you guys later!!
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Hello, lovlies! I am so sorry I haven't updated in a few days. There have been quite a few reasons why this is. The first is the most annoying of all. For whatever reason I've had to reset my Dreamwidth password four times in the last week because 1)My tablet locked me out of my account because it refused to type my password correctly 2) When I was finally able to get on here, my account was locked out again because it refused to log me in with the NEW password. 3) And THEN I had to reset it again tonight because THAT password refused to work. It's like, really? What The Hell?

Anyway. My elbow/cubital tunnel syndrome shit hit a new painful level yesterday. It was terrible. I was on ice and codeine Tylenol Which made me sleep randomly. Yet, I did have a good time with Patrick. Yes, *that* Patrick. He and I are slowly starting to be able to be friends without him getting too touchy feely. That is definitely progress.

He showed me this web series called Adult Wednesday Addams. It's on Youtube. It is freakin' hilarious. It basically has Wednesday dealing with various every day things in her true Addams fashion. Fans of the show The Addamns Family will chuckle at some of the subtle jokes from the series, and those who aren't familiar with it will undoubtedly chuckle about the sadistic way Wednesday chooses to handle things. All I can say is that is completely awesome.

This coming Saturday I am traveling by train to see my friends in Spencer, NY. I am so excited because some of these people I haven't seen since I moved back home. I know that my girl Marcia is super excited for us to do things together. I am excited to do things with her, too! I am most anxious to see Guy and my kitties though. And to meet my adoptive nephew, Liam. <3 <3 I really want to snuggle this little bug, and give him kisses!

Of course the main reason I am going up there is to be there for the sentencing of that asshole that caused us to lose Mama Kat. But I am counting that as just a piece of my reasoning. This visit to New York is overdue. I am just hoping that it goes well, and that I Can make it a yearly thing. Next year, I want to go with Lexi to ConBust. I miss ConBust. :( ConBust was such a lot of fun for me as a writer and a fan girl, really.

Anyway, I will be gone for a week, and therefore have been working to delete my DVR so that all my shows will be able to be recorded while I'm gone. There is always the chance I won't watch anything while I'm with Lexi and Marcia. They have a way of drag me away from the TV. LOL. (I'm just kidding guys. I love nyou for it, you know. Besides I am going up there to see you guys. My TV obligations can wait!)

So I am getting off here now because before I go to NY, I am going to visit my buddy Jason at BN tomorrow. See you guys in a couple of days if I feel like getting on.

~Zie~
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Well, I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't start this out by saying that I had expected this day to suck. I woke up with a monster headache that almost had me running right back into my covers. Instead, I pushed through and went grocery shopping. I spent way more than I had intended, but at least I will have enough food until I go to Spencer.

I have spent the remainder of the day watching the Good Witch movie marathon. These movies are some of my favorite Hallmark movies. The first one I ever saw was a Christmas movie. I was hooked from then on. Hallmark is taking it one step further and debuting a new series based on the movies starring the original cast. I have high hopes for this, so I am hoping they have done the uninverse some real justice. Now I am just watching the last movie in the marathon. And I am really loving it.

There is something important that is on my mind, though. Maybe it's because of I am watching these movies, or maybe I am watching them because it's been on my mind. I need to go back to Practicin the Craft again and get back to my Center. The things stopping me is the lack of Focus. Between being in pain, the family drama, and the medication I am burden with, it just isn't happening. The closest I get to practicing is charging my Power jewelry. I need to work back up to it again.
faeriewings1781: (Default)
So Big Hero 6 has had a pretty big week so far. First on Sunday winning an Oscar for Animated Movie of the Year, and then it was released on Bluray and DVD on Tuesday (this is Wednesday as I am typing, so...). After a loooong day of waiting for hte mail, and then making myself sit through all of my other shows, I finally sat down and watched the movie for the second time.

I am happy to report that I only got a little teary-eyed, and it was at the same part that I was puddles at the first time. This could be for a number of reasons. One, it was really late, and I had had a big cry the night before. Maybe I had no more tears left? I don't know. But the other theory is that I had had my biggest cry the day I saw it, and maybe I didn't need to cry anymore, but just to feel the emotion, acknowledge it, and then let Baymax do his job, and comfort me.

This second viewing also brought on a new interpretation of the Baymax character. Baymax is essentially Tadashi's memory. Wait, that didn't come out right... hmm... how do I explain what I want to say? I kinda saw Baymax's chip as being Tadashi, essentially.And when he gave it to Hiro at the end of the movie it was like, "here, I am here." and all Hiro did was rebuild it. So maybe it isn't Baymax himself, but the microchip? That's the best way I can describe it. It could be likened to having pictures of our loved ones that have passed on. I keep pictures of my baby Murphy, and while I have moved on a little bit (I'm slowly accepting Sandy as a friend, and of course I have Bandit) he's not really gone because I can still tell my friends funny stories about how Murphy took care of me. It gets easier with every passing day to talk about him without choking up.

The same can be said for my two biggest losses: my grnadmother and my adoptive mother, Mama Kat. Do I still choke up mentioning certain things about them? Yes. But not all of the time anymore. Like, I still giggle and smile a bit when I tell the story of the famous, "Your Mom" incident with Lexi in New York. They're not gone from our hearts or our memories, and I think the program chip is some sort of symbolism of that for Hiro, and a reminder for the rest of us who have suffered loss.

I still think that this has been the most tasteful film done by Disney on the subject of loss. Bambi is also a great classic, but this modern take on the subject resonates really strongly with today's audience. If you haven't seen this masterpiece yet, I am still going to urge you until the cows come home to please watch. You will not be sorry you did. (Unless you were tied to a chair and forced to....lol)

Trivia: The very first fanfic I ever wrote was a Boxcar Children fanfic that was a culmination of at least 4 of the books in the series. (I didn't even call it Fanfic back then. LOL)
faeriewings1781: (Default)
So you know how you can live with someone for years and years and think things are fine? Ha. That's an illusion. I once told Kay that my family and I were very close and didn't have any problems. Guess what? I lied. Okay, I didn't lie, perse. I just didn't know how bad things were. Mom and Daddy C. Oh, whoops. CAL had done such a good job at not arguing in front of me. Well, tonight a lot of shit came out about how Cal really feels about me and Daniel. And it was much more painful than I ever thought I could feel.

Hazel Grace Lancaster in the Fault in Our Stars was often asked on a scale of 1-10 how she rated her pain. When Augustus died, she admitted that she had been saving her "10". Well, I must have been saving my 10, too. I am in SO much pain right now. The sheer amount of hurtful things he said to Mom about me and Daniel....I would have never guessed he actually felt that way towards me.

I guess I should probably start by saying that the argument, as usual, started out being about Daniel. Daniel couldn't handle the job at Wal-Mart, and was fired. Personally, I don't think he can keep a job. Every job he's had he's lost within a month for stupid reasons. It's always Daniel, and never anyone else. I am beginning to feel that Daniel may be one of the every three people that can't hold a job due to his ADHD and Anxiety. Cal doesn't want to face up to that. And I know Mom doesn't either, but that's just a theory I have. I'm not a doctor, so I am not saying that's really the case. But I digress.


This led to a huge blow up between Mom and Cal because Daniel didn't talk to Cal today like he said he wa going to. Mom didn't want to be in the middle of them anymore, and honestly, I get it. Daniel's twenty years old. He should be able to talk to Cal about what really happened. But the way Cal handled things...ugh.

Usually when they start arguing, I tune out. But I already had a pretty bad headache so I had turned off my music, and didn't have time to turn it back on before the yelling and accusations started. I also found out how Nick (Cal's son) really feels about us. He tolerates us. What the fuck. After EVERYTHING I did to promote his band. After he bought me the ukelele... and after I named one of my core characters in my first ever novel after him, and based his character on him! What. The Fuck. I am so....ugh. I can't even right now. I am having a really hard time processing all of this.

There is also Cal himself. He basically said that me and Daniel were not welcome to come to Florida with him and Mom, KNOWING I cannot live by myself. And said things like, "What you want them both hanging off your tits till you're 80?" and basically gave Mom an ultimatum, which really pissed me off because Tom (my first stepfather) did the same thing.

Yet, the thing that hurt the most for me was that he doesn't want to be called Daddy C anymore. He doesnt' want to be anyone's Daddy. I've been calling him that for almost a decade. It hurts. It really, really hurts.

The good news is that Baymax is on his way to me, and that will help, greatly.
faeriewings1781: Farkle being Farkle (Its Farkle Time)
So as you may know, for a few weeks now I have been dealing with a lot of pain in my left elbow that was starting to effect everything I did from typing to cooking dinner. I can now say that I've found something that helps! Today I was out shopping with Mom and she bought me a copper fit compression sleeve for my elbow. This thing has helped from the moment I put it on! I am so happy because this means I can be on the PC and write again. I'm still not going to chance being online a lot and typing in multiple applications at a time. This means I will be relying on my phone for messaging and Plurk. <3

While I was out today, I bought myself a badly needed new Tumbler and some Squishy sand. This is a brand of kinetic sand. I bought it in hopes of finding another outlet for my anxiety in the event I can't get on the PC to write. This stuff is exactly as advertised. It doesn't stick to anything. And it's not sticky or oily (like play doh or sculpy clay). I am planning to use it for Zen therapy. To maybe help my creativity, and relax nerves.

I am on a count down now, too. This countdown is for Big Hero 6. I get my copy on Bluray on Tuesday! I can't wait. I'm super excited to have Baymax in my hands. I have tried to watch it using other means, but it has all failed. I guess that's what I get for trying to do something not quite legal.

Last night I worte close to 1k words on my dystopian. I love how this is coming out, and I am excited. Journey is about to tell Atlas his full plans for bringing down the Dictator. It's going to be awesome! I can't wait to see what these guys have planned for me tonight after Backstrom. (Yes, I am watching a new Fox show, and hoping it doesn't get cancelled. It's by producer Hart Hanson who does Bones, and did the Finder. So far only Bones has been successful.) Anyway, that's what I'm hoping to happen tonight.

But for now, I am going to get caught up on my Mobile games and then rest. Going out really racked on my nerves today, and I'm not used to that. It was Wal-Mart for crying out loud. Who gets anxious at a Wal-Mart?! If this keeps up, I may have problems when it comes to going back to Barnes and Noble on a regular basis in the Spring. Here's hoping...
faeriewings1781: (Default)
Aside from being in pain, I am actually in a fairly decent mood. I have been working on a bit of fanfiction since yesterday, I've been playing Hay Day, Clash of Clans, and Boom Beach, and I've been reading. I've been doing a LOT of reading, and it's making me so very happy.

Yesterday after I woke up from my codeine induced sleep, I started watching NCIS. I have been into this show off and on since the first time I ever watched Abby in action. She was just so awesome. But I've grown very fond of Gibbs, and other characters too. It was nice to get back to that show after so long. So I was up until about 1 or so watching the marathon that USA Network was airing.

I found out yesterday, by the way that I am not the only person in the world who fell in love with The Librarians TV show. My BN buddy, Jason is also into this show. Which is very much a relief for me. I'm really annoyed that we just haven't figured out if there is going to be a renewal. It had pretty hig ratings, so the chances of the renewal going by that is good. Yet, I saw on one of the message boards that TNT is under new "management" as it were, and they are wanting to make the channel a bit more dark. The Librarians is a bit campy, and Sci-Fi/Fantasy oriented, so it is possible it will not survive the change the channel is trying ot make for that reason. I am hoping that I am wrong. Given that tehy have started running Grimm on the channel, I think the chances for a renewal is good despite this change, too.

Lately, I've been really wanting to RPG. It's hard to do this on a tablet, though. I have a great many friends who have been so patient with me about typos in chat, but I can't imagine they'd really appreciate said typos in an RPG post, and even though I am very careful, I do have a tendency to miss a typo here and there. >.< I want to play Maya though, and I want to do this thing with Farkle and Riley, and I was supposed be doing this musebox thing with my friends and my Dystopian characters, but haven't done that yet, either. :( It's all coming down to the pain I've been in.

I'm going to regret this, honestly. This posting via the keyboard, but damn it does feel good to not be on a touch keyboard. I mean, I love my tablet. My 10.1 screen makes typing on it so much easier, and I don't have a lot of typos, but there are still a few of them here and there.

Okay, and now I've run out of things to say, but I just wanted to let you guys keep knowing that there have been some good things happen, despite everything that has happened that haven't been so good. I am cautiously counting the day before I get to visit Spencer, and see how things have been. I am just sad that it is happening *after* Mama Kat's passing. But it will be fun, regardless. I will have time with Marcia, I will have time with Paul, hopefully, and definitely with the Gadens. I can't wait.

Trivia: Christien and VIctoria are my oldest OTP.
faeriewings1781: Farkle being Farkle (Its Farkle Time)
There hasn't been a whole lot of good things to happen to me lately. I haven't been able to write anything positive. But I also haven't seen fit to tell you guys about all the fun.

First there is Hay Day, which has been eating my soul. I went from a level 5 to a level 21. I am about to finally open my oat delivery service!! I am very eexcited about this! In addition to that I will soon have my own town!

I have also been doing a lot of reading. Last month I finished four books! I am looking to repeat this phenomenon this month. I have plenty of them!! Currently am reading a new series by the co-author of the The Beautiful Creatures <\u> series5. She has an amazing story brewing and I love the characters. I am loving the Supernatural vibe. I can assume that the similarities are completely coincidentAL. Though, I have to wonder if she named one of the brothers after Jared Paadelecki who plays Sam Winchester.I just love this series so much already!

Girl Meets World was back last night with a really sweet episode involving Farkle, Riley, and Maya. There was also a susubplot involving Cory and Topanga meeting Ava's overbearing, controllING mother who has a fake British accent. It was a great episoxe, and made me really want to do a story line with Farkle and Rikey. So Sara and I will be doing that soon ! I'm elated!!

I'm going to head off now, but I just wanted to let you guys know that some things have gone okay. Not everything has been bad. Despite my numerous complaints.

Meh

Feb. 4th, 2015 01:41 pm
faeriewings1781: (Default)
The last few days have been amazing in some ways. I've been playing with my tablet (mostly playing Hay Day and Clash of Clans). It's a fun way to spend my days because to be perfectly honest, being on the laptop is too much pain for me right now. I probably should consider checking into a release surgery or something, but I know that when I'm not using the laptop to type, I can actually find relief, and also, once the cold weather has passed, it won't be nearly as bad.

On the other hand, I'm being driven nuts because I just really want to write, and even though I can do it on my tablet, I can't save it to my flash drive. I could use Dropbox, yeah, but eh. The accuracy isn't really... good.

I'm also frustrated by the fact that I had to drop 40.00 on a new phone. That was completely unexpected. I mean, I had given Mom 300.00 for the new tablet plus the accessories (the case and stylus), and I had to buy my train tickets for March. (Though Lexi is giving me that money back, so it wasn't really a loss.) It was just a *lot* of money in one day.

Then, I did the stupid thing of spending close to 30.00 something at Barnes and Noble on Sunday. The only reason I could do that was because I knew I was getting the train money back, but I still felt bad. Mom really thinks my impulsive spending has a lot to do with depression, and if you've read my last couple of entries, I really have been going through a lot of depression from having to be inside a lot cause of the cold, and this (the phone cost, and spending more than I initially thought I would on teablet accessories) has made it worse.

Do I regret the Barnes and Noble purchases? Not at all. I know I will read both of the books I bought, and I have already used the water bottle, and found it to be very effective for the purpose which I bought it. I just regret the amount of the actual purchases. I don't know if that really makes sense.... blah.

Anyway, that's what Mom and I've come to realize. She can always tell when I'm depressed. The impulse buys get worse when I'm really bad. And if I'm in a store where I *know* I will buy something.. well, forget inhibitions. They're done and gone. Heh.

But yeah, I've basically not been in the most social of moods, and I've been trying not to be around because I don't want people to feel down on my account, and I know a few people who are already dealing bad things. So I would rather not contribute to their stress. Just know that all of this will pass.

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